Redneck Hillbilly’s Home Care Hare Straitening Kit

I had a wee bit of fun this Christmas… according to my Sister-in-Law, my 20 year old niece wanted a “Hair Straightener” for Christmas.  Now, being a guy; I had absolutely no clue what a “hair straightener” was, and had to be ‘edumacated’.

Being somewhat mischievous from time to time, I decided to play a little prank on my niece - so I purchased a red construction brick, a rubber mallet, and a box of matches.

I looked around for an appropriate box, set some styrofoam in it, and with a razor I carefully cut out areas for the brick, mallet, and box of matches to sit in.

Then I sat down to the computer, and created a “manual” for my “Redneck Hillbilly’s Home Care Hare Straitening Kit”.  Then, as all manuals seem to be - I ran over to Google and translated the manual into French, German, and Japanese.  I spent some time learning how to print this out in a ‘booklet’ form, and created a very nice little manual.
(Click Here to View the Manual).

Of course, it wouldn’t be fair to give my niece just this ‘gift’, so naturally I really did purchase a nice hair straightener for her.  When I got to the store - I realized that I still hadn’t learned enough about hair straighteners… they had 1″ models, and 2″ models… so, being just a guy - I collared several women who were shopping nearby, and begged them to explain to me the difference.  Apparently, as near as I can figure it out, the difference in size is helpful depending on what you want to do with the hair straightener.  And here I thought the purpose of a hair straightener was to straighten hair!!  But I’m just a guy… Fortunately, as it turned out, the 2″ model I purchased was exactly what my niece wanted.  (or at least she convinced me of that…)

I really did have quite a bit of fun while creating this ‘gift’… as you might imagine - I got some shocked looks at the building construction supply store when I asked for a ’single red brick’.  One guy there had a good sense of humor and a fast tongue - he instantly replied that they had just ran out of red bricks.  Now, this construction supply store had about half a dozen men, and just one lady behind the counter. As I explained what I needed a single red brick for, the men all just smiled, but the one lady present sent daggers my way… I knew that I’d be in trouble if it weren’t for the counter that stood between us, so I quickly explained to her that of course I was also purchasing a real hair straightener for my niece.  One of the clerks went in the back to choose the perfect red brick for me, while another clerk rang me up for the .44 cents (plus tax) that they were soaking me for.  The mallet set me back $2.99, and the box of matches cost pocket change as well…

I must report honestly that she got quite a laugh out of her ‘gift’… even before she found out that she was also getting a real one.   So I certainly enjoyed my Christmas… How about you?